{Self Love}

Hi, I'm Arya and I have just turned THIRTY THREE!!! I am happy to say that fashion wise I finally bought a pair of "jeggings" (jeans meets stretch pants) for the first time and I normally wouldn't wear them but stepped out of my comfort zone and took a leap on a black pair. They are comfortable and I LOVE how I look in them. I also LOVE that I am starting to feel comfortable in my skin and not just feel like some skinny girl trapped in a fat girl body - I actually like how my style is evolving and how I am now able to wear more fitting clothes that show my curves instead of wearing too big clothes that make me look like I threw a king size blanket on as a shirt.

I am enjoying life and trying not to let the little stuff slow me down and sure I want to lose weight and I actually have lost 15 lbs so far but regardless of if I make it to my goal or not I am happy with the body I have. It's amazing and gave life to my four babes, how could I not love it.

Thirty three has started off with a huge bang of SELF LOVE!! Stop the negative/hate talk in your head and start to replace it with positive/loving talk. As women I find we tend to be harder on ourselves and more critical of our bodies because of all the excessive media out there talking about how we need to be a size 2 to be happy. Well, I am here to tell you that you don't. Be happy with yourself and others will want to be around you because of it. 

Just be happy with where your at, even if you want to change it, love yourself at whatever stage your at in your journey and remember your not alone. Some days are going to be harder then others but always try to say something nice about your body before you go to bed and again when you wake up and soon those negative thoughts will fade and be replaced with wonderful positive thoughts and one day you will just look at yourself and know how beautiful you really are.

I have been married to my hubby for almost 13 years and for most of that time I hated how I looked and hated the curves and rolls that seemed to take over my body, especially after being pregnant nine times. And I would make comments about how hideous I was or how cow like I had become and it drove my husband nuts because he only ever saw me as sexy and beautiful and couldn't understand why I didn't see what he saw.

Now, after all that time, I see that I am sexy and beautiful and worthy of his love and worthy of my own love too. I now knows and see what my loving husband has always seen. A FREAKINGLY FABULOUS CURVY WOMAN!! 

I am BEAUTIFUL. I am LOVED. I am WIFE. I am MOTHER. I AM DESIRED!!

{Proud of my Size: week 8}

It's that time again! With each and every week I become more confidant infront of the camera and become more accepting of how I look and in turn it shows with how I hold myself now. I am embracing my curves, rolls and jiggles that I gained over the course of my life.

I am loving who I am and in turn I am not worrying as much as to what others think and just focus on my family and enjoying my life - because let's face it, IT'S FABULOUS!!

If you want to see all the other fabulously wonderful people who are participating in Rachele's link up just click on the button below!

Uh oh, guess what I did...

Can you see it?

For my pregnancies and because I love owls

Yep, I went and got a tattoo - an OWL one at that!

glasses: eyemart express
black top: thrifted (for 25¢)
purple multicolored cami: lane bryant
jeans: lane bryant
shoes: thrifted (for less then $5)
ring: target
tattoo: blackbird studios (an all girl tattoo parlor)

How cute are these shoes!! I love thrift store finds!!

{Proud of my size: Week 5}

Of course the link up is on week 10 but I was a bit late starting it with them. I am so proud of how much better I am feeling in my clothing since I started taking my pictures for these posts. I know before this link up started I wouldn't have dared the outfit shown below but now I don't care what others think and I LOVE how I look in it!

I didn't want to shave my legs so I paired this dress with a pair of blue jeans and one of my favorite pair of flats, (yes you read right, I don't always shave my legs so pants are required from time to time). I love this dress as a long tunic top and sure it looks fine without the belt but lately most of my outfits have a belt for "just because" and who knew that just because things don't have the same pattern they can go together and it doesn't always have to be one pattern with a solid. I love how the cardi goes with pattern on the dress.

I didn't realize it until editing these images just how orangey/red my hair has become, not that I mind, it's just way brighter then I remember it being, then again I have been out in the summer sun alot more so it's not as dark as it usually is.

Now go check out the others linked up or link up yourself by clicking on the button at the end of the post!! It's oodles of fun and show your love for all the others sharing who they are and their sizes.

Dress, belt, cardigan and jeans: old navy
shoes: thrifted
glasses: eyemart express
flower headband: won in a giveaway

 

{Positive Perspective: Day 1}

(image found HERE)

I am going to be doing these for the next seven days - maybe longer because I need to see the positive in life since I have been stressing about too much stuff that I just know isn't worth stressin' over - but telling my mind and hormones that is hard work.

POSITIVE PERSPECTIVE: DAY ONE

1. I was so happy getting up this morning and not hearing fighting from the kids.

2.  I am grateful for my husband who lets me sleep in while dealing with the kids so very early in the morning.

3. I love watching the kids play at the park as it helps get rid of all that pent up energy they seem to accumulate.

4. I am grateful to have a great dad and step-mom who has dinner with us once a week and are willing to play dungeons and dragons with us.

5. I am excited that hubby was able to find someone who enjoys d&d as much as we do to play with us and that not only him but his family are becoming good friends.

6. I am enjoying the guinea pigs and their little chirps and trills - they are so fun to watch as they bounce and chase each other around the cage.

7. I am so happy to have gotten rid of a really bad OB doc and I am now looking forward to reconnecting with my old OB doc - even if it means driving farther away.

8. I love how my cats are so weird. They are exactly the type of entertainment I need on those days where everything seems to go wrong.

9. I love that the kids can make their own peanutbutter and jelly sandwiches.

10. I love my husband, who makes my life easier by being by my side.

{Positive Perspective: Days ७ & ८}

(aka Saturday & Sunday)

1. Played d&d with my Dad, Kitty, Clay & William on Saturday.

2. Watched the first disc of "The 10th Kingdom" w/the kids on Saturday.

3. Finished the last two discs of "The 10th Kingdom" on Sunday w/the kids.

4. Enjoyed watching the kids create their own worlds using the miniatures, dungeon tiles and the terrain William made.

5. I got LOTS of calls reminding me just how wonderful this ward is. Many woman letting me know they were thinking about me and wanted to know if there was anything they could do.

6. I am grateful that we have several fans to circulate the HOT air. I really wish the AC hadn't crapped out on us!

7. Cooked all the frozen meat that got thawed out when the freezer was left open out in the shed.

8. Realized just how blessed I am to have such great friends & family.

9. Got to enjoy my Dad & Kitty when I picked them up for the game and when I drove them home Saturday after the game.

10. Is trying to keep myself busy. Movies help but I have been working on patterns for the ornaments I am going to put in the Christmas baskets I am throwing together.

11. Enjoying my family, loving their antics and relishing in the little joys that make up my life.

{Positive Perspective: Day ६}

(This is for Friday, the 24th)

1. The kittens kept me laughing all day.

2. I got my livingroom rearranged.

3. I got the items I wanted put on craigslist.

4. I got the boys to clean their room. (well Aaron cleaned the room all by himself and earned $20)

5. I cooked 2 whole chickens last night because the freezer thawed everything. So at least I won't have to cook anything for our game on Saturday (aka today)

6. Hubby has really been a sweetheart.

7. Even though the kids drove me nuts, they still found small ways to make me laugh.

{Positive Perspective: Day ५}

(this is for July 23rd aka Wednesday)

1. I am grateful for a kind and caring doctor who informed me in a kind a caring manner about there being no heartbeat. (I already knew, but it was so nice to have someone who was tactful and genuinely concerned about me)

2. I am grateful and deeply moved by the outpouring of love that I have felt from those whom I have known personally and from those who I have never met, except via internet.

3. I have realized just how blessed I am to know Jesus Christ and his Father. It has been a real comfort during this time.

4. I know my family isn't complete and that next time the baby inside me will thrive and I will get to meet him/her.

5. Ruth made me laugh today by giving me odd looks and devilish grins throughout the day.

6. Sam gave me a big hug and told me "everything will be good mommy, 'cause you said the baby is with grandma & grandpa in heaven"

7. Aaron told me it was ok, "as long as we kept trying to get it right!"

8. I love my children! They sure do know what to say to make my heart swell and tears teater over my lower lids.

9. My husband is the best. He just wrapped me in a big hug and told me we would try again. No worries.

10. I played a great game of D&D with Clay & Hubby...It was so much fun!

11. I am grateful my mom taught me to do these "Positive Perspectives" because it sure has been a huge help, especially for today!

{Positive Perspective: Day ४}

(this is for Wed. July 22nd)

1. I had my doctors appointment and I didn't sleep thru it!

2. Because the doctor couldn't find the heartbeat I get to have an ultrasound (today the 23rd).

3. Ruth kept making funny faces at me while blocking the moving fan. It was quite entertaining.

4. I actually got my visit teaching done because I have a super AWESOME companion!!

5. The women we visit are just AWESOME!

6. After a nice nap my migraine turned into just a bothersome headache.

7. Aaron showed me the comic he has been working on - it's sooo neat, it's about him, Sam & Ruth only they are super hero's, well, Ruth is the "boss lady". But it's still cool.

8. Because I can never seem to get to bed before 3am -the kittens always put on a show for me late at night. It's quite entertaining.

9. I'm not worried about the ultrasound showing anything wrong. I feel content.

{Positive Perspective: Day ३}

(This is for Tuesday the 21st)

1. I walked 1/2 mile on the treadmill.

2. I found my grandma's salad shooter w/grater attachment - which made grating zucchini way more easier!!

3. Ruth helped me make the zucchini bread & muffins.

4. Ruth didn't pitch a fit when I left for Enrichment - because I told her I would take her to my doctors appointment on Wednesday (aka today the 22nd).

5. I got all William's miniatures that he painted varnished. He's done 22 in 4 days!!

6. I stayed a whole hour during enrichment - they were doing chocolate everything and I didn't start getting ill until it started getting hot in my section as the chocolate melted and the scent wafted back to me. I was very pleased.

7. I am looking forward to visiting teaching with my new companion! It's going to be fun. I just know it!!

8. William fixed the TV the boys like to watch their movies on!! Don't know how he did it but I am soooo glad! Now I don't have to watch the cartoons during their TV time.

{Positive Perspective: Day २}

This is for Monday, July 20th

Positive Perspective: Day Two

1. I got to sleep in for a bit.

2. Ruth didn't whine as much as she normally does.

3. I made 4 loafs of zucchini bread.

4. Even though I had to go to the store 3 times I finally got everything by the last trip.

5. William and I had some alone time - which doesn't happen often with the kids screaming all day long. It was nice we just talked.

6. I walked a 1/2 mile on the treadmill.

7. I learned another way to get home from Caldwell. Clay showed me on our way back from getting the stuff needed for the water softner machine.

8. I made some killer pork chops w/carrots & for the kids they also got yogurt.

9. Even though the kids didn't eat dinner w/the exception of the yogurt - I didn't get upset.

10. When the kittens came out of hiding after the kids went to bed, they curled up on me and purred away like little motor boats. It was so nice!

{Positive Perspective: Day One}

I have noticed that on my facebook and even here I have started to become a bit more negative, sooooo I am going to start doing "Positive Perspective" again.

These are for the day before (Sunday the 19th):

Positive Perspective: Day One

1. We had a nice visit and dinner at The Hardy's Home.

2. The food was sooo yummy and I didn't get nauseas.

3. The kids were fairly good while we were at someone else's home.

4. I had a nice visit with Christie at church.

5. I have a great visit teaching companion who will push me to be a better visit teacher.

6. Brother Ha-knot-sue (not sure how he spells his name, but that is how it sounds) brought over some huge zucchini. I am going to make zucchini bread & muffins with them.

7. I got to see my Dad and his wife Kitty yesterday evening and pick up some farm fresh eggs.

I will try to be doing this every day this week to help remind me life isn't bad, it's good - even with all the bumps in the road.

{Positive spin}

Since the time change (ugh) I have been blessed with some beautiful mornings while driving the kids to school this week. I would drive towards the school and watch the moon set while in my rear view mirror I could see the start of the sun rising. On my way back home I would see the sun start rising over the "mountains". It really has been a pleasant surprise to me since I now have to force myself awake in the mornings. It really has been my reward for waking in the morning (I know I would have to but I am trying to look at the positive instead of whining about how the alarm screeches and startles me out of my dreams...lol)

We paid off our car! It's officially ours - well it will be when we get the title at the end of the month. I am super excited! we will be saving a little over $300 a month because we got it paid off early! We are slowly but surely getting our debt paid off so we can start saving up for a house. We are hoping that by the end of the year we will have everything paid off!! I am excited to think of that possibility of no more payments except for the basic stuff (rent, utilities & food). We want to save for a year before we start looking for a house, so by 2011 we should be homeowners! At least that is the plan.

Have I mentioned that within the next few months we will be actively trying for baby number 4? I have decided that I am still going to work on my weight but I also don't want start having a baby after I turn 30. (not that having a baby after 30 is bad, it's not. I just want to be done by the time I am 30 - being preggers that is).

Life is getting exciting - don't you think? I know I think it is - even with all the stress of the retirement non-sense that we are dealing with and the banks being silly about other things - I just have no control over their hang-ups and just have to stay positive about the things that matter. Yes, I do get stressed with all the non-sense and ridiculousness that I am currently facing but I am trying to just let it go (note I used trying, today I am succeeding but yesterday I failed. One day at a time, right?)

The blogs I read on a daily basis really have helped me keep my perspective and help me focus on the good things in my life. When I look back, our life has been blessed and I know the Lord is here with us. Sometimes, when I am in the thick of it I don't see it right away, but he truly is here, and that is a great blessing - just knowing he cares and loves us - guiding our way.

I hope you see the blessings he has given you. I know I see them when I read your blogs. Thank you all for inspiring me to be a better person and see him in my own life on a daily basis.

{Positive Perspective: Day Nine, Ten & Eleven}

Ok, so I got a bit busy and the Positive Perspective got put on the back burner with trying to edit the rest of the wedding pictures and just life in general so here is the update on the last 3 positive perspectives. Enjoy!!

POSITIVE PERSPECTIVE: DAY NINE
(august 01, 2008)

1. It's the end of the week and I was feeling great!

2. William and I went to see a great counselor to help us be the best we can be as husband and wife as well as parents.

3. My Mom watch the kids while we went. Thank you MOM!!

4. William got paid and we went grocery shopping.

5. We got cantaloupe for 33¢ each melon - limit of 3 at winco.


POSITIVE PERSPECTIVE: DAY TEN
(august 02, 2008)

1. Ran some errands.

2. just relaxed and enjoyed the day.

3. Finished and put up the gallery for my wedding. (whew! What a lot of work)


POSITIVE PERSPECTIVE: DAY ELEVEN
(august 03, 2008)

1. Cleaned the whole house from top to bottom.

2. Found FIVE baby gerbils that morning. What a great feeling.

3. got ready for d&d game.

4. got a bluetooth headset for my cell phone for driving.

5. Played a good game of D&D and enjoyed the company of friends & Family.

6. Went to bed at 2:30 am that night - or should I say the next morning.

{Positive Perspective: Day Eight}

POSITIVE PERSPECTIVE: DAY EIGHT

1. I took Ruth and Aaron to the park for lunch and a bit of play time. (sam couldn't go because he had a complete melt-down over the underwear he was wearing)

2. I enjoyed the time I spent with both Ruth & Aaron at the park. We did all sorts of fun stuff.

3. I showed Aaron how to hula-hoop - boy was that a hoot (I looked silly he didn't)

4. I watched Ruth play in the ball pit - she pretended like she was swimming - it was quite entertaining.

5. When we got back from the park - Sam was so behaved - it was a nice change from earlier in the day.

6. After Ruth's nap she got up and went to where her doll house is and started to play with one of her barbie and a ring. William and I just enjoyed it because she was so deep into her little world.

7. Aaron showed me how to make his peanut butter and honey sandwiches. He just loves those! I will have to show him how good it tastes with bananas on it.

8. Aaron watched "Outer limits" with me during quite time. He loves all the weird stuff.

9. I got the biggest giggle while watching our gerbils - Stewart knows when Shadow is in heat and he was chasing her around and around the tunnels and such and she just kept kicking him off. I felt so bad for him but could understand her not wanting to fool around because I am sure she had a "head ache" lol

10. Over all the day was good. Not too terrible at all. Even with the meltdowns from the children. (Ruth had one before bed and Sam had his before our outing to the park)

{Positive Perspective: Day Seven}

POSITIVE PERSPECTIVE: DAY SEVEN

1. I rearranged the front room with William's help.

2. I got 2 loads of clothes done today & put away!!

3. I got to watch Oprah today - it was all about people winning alot of money and where & how they changed. Either for the good or for the worse.

4. It was validated that money doesn't make you happy but having loved ones does.

5. I learned that alot of people don't think about how to spend all that money and never think it will run out and end up spending it all.

6. The first thing I would do - IF we got a winfall - would be to pay off our debts and buy a house first. Then share the wealth.

7. William shared with me the innards of the d&d game - things to come. But don't try to ask me whats going to happen because it's a secret - shhhh...

8. I got to enjoy the kids while we made lunch together. Messy but fun.

9. Tomorrow we are going to do lunch at the park & play, play, play.

10. Talked with my mom. I always enjoy our talks.

{Positive Perspective: Day Six}

POSITIVE PERSPECTIVE: DAY SIX

1. Sam and I had some snuggly time during quiet time.

2. Aaron showed me how to make his famous "jammed toast". (we are letting him "cook" with the toaster and microwave and he loves his new found freedom)

3. Ruth and I colored one of her pretty princess big color pages after lunch. (mostly scribbles but so much fun)

4. I got to talk with my good friend Carla. I found out she got a new vehicle. CONGRATS HON!!

5. I was able to get the images captured by my assistant, Curt today and he ROCKED the memories for my bride & groom!!

6. William and I enjoyed some good conversation about what will be coming up in our d&d game. ( I hope my character doesn't die)

7. We had a great dinner of taco salads tonight for dinner. The kids loved to create their own salad - each was different but all had chips and cheese on em...lol

8. It rained today!! I just love the smell that comes from a cleansing rain.

9. I saw a beautiful rainbow today - it started out small and grew quite wide with rows of colors - very stunning.

10. I got to talk with my mom. It's been a few days and it was good to hear her voice. Amazing how you can miss someone - even if you talked to them only 2 days ago. Love you MOM!!

{Positive Perspective: Day Five}

POSITIVE PERSPECTIVE: DAY FIVE

1. I wasn't feeling well this morning and William kept the kids entertained while I got a bit more rest this morning. My hubby is just so sweet.

2. Ruth came in and slept with me while I got a bit more rest this morning. She cuddled all the way up close and wanted my arm around her to hold her tight to me.

3. I sorted thru the best images from my wedding on saturday. Tomorrow I will be able to edit them.

4. Aaron showed me his wonderful artwork that he had worked on during the morning and part of the afternoon. I just love his creativity.

5. Sam sat with me on the couch while I watched "Stargate: SG1". He enjoyed the aliens they encountered.

6. I enjoyed watching William draw up his "EVIL" characters for D&D. It's great to see him passionate about something again.

7. I got my brochures today and they ROCKED!

8. We found out about how long it's going to take to get William's retirement - not happy about the length that it can take but glad to know a time frame - sorta.

9. William emptied the dishwasher for me so I could load it with the dirty dishes. He knows I hate to unload it and I know he hates to load it. Don't we just make the perfect pair?

10. William and I had a good laugh about an episode of "Property Virgins". The couple looking for a place of their own were just too funny.

{Positive Perspective: Day Four}

POSITIVE PERSPECTIVE: DAY FOUR

1. I finished up a load of clothes.

2. Aaron helped me make lunch.

3. Sam didn't fight once today with his brother.

4. William helped me clean the livingroom & bath because I was beat from yesterday.

5. I started to sort thru the TONS of wedding pictures today.

6. I got a load of dishes done today and a load of clothes too.

7. William and I got to watch the "Eureka" marathon today to catch ourselves up on last season.

8. The kids went to bed without a fight.

9. Today was a good day - very relaxing.

10. I didn't have to leave the house at all today - it was great to just lounge about the house and rest.

{Positive Perspective: Day Three}

POSITIVE PERSPECTIVE: DAY THREE

1. I had an uneventful drive over to lebanon/albany area for the wedding I was photographing.

2. I even got to lebanon a bit early and was able to chat with Melissa after dropping off the kids for her to watch. Thank you!!!

3. I found a cute black dressy shirt at walmart for $7

4. I was glad that my time spent in both lebanon and albany came into good use when there was road work being done on one of the roads.

5. I found the church without any problems

6. I had a great assistant today helping me photograph the wedding. He ROCKED!!

7. I had a blast photographing this beautiful couple.

8. I got some awesome shots in a tunnel today.

9. The bride & grooms family were so great and some of them reminded me of my own grandparents who have past on.

10. The maid of honor & twin sister of the bride gave a beautiful toast that had everyone in the room in tears.

11. I picked up the kids and had a safe trip home. I am beat and going to bed. Night all!!

{Positive Perspective: Day Two}

Positive Perspective: Day Two

1. I got to sleep in this morning - which is a rarity lately.

2. I actually warmed up enough today to have my fan on because I was too warm.

3. I got to drive around enjoying hubby's company while the kids watched a movie as we drove around discovering new ways to get to portland.

4. We saw 2 policemen/woman with their horses in downtown portland.

5. Sam noticed that "The cops arrested a bad guy" while we drove past the "horse cops" as Aaron calls them.

6. was reminded of how soothing music can be and how useful it is to drown out the kids hissy fits when driving during rush hour.

7. I found out I have more patience then I thought I did today. Thank you kids.

8. I got a great deal on my favorite "mango salsa".

9. I am glad I know more places to get gas and groceries and other odds and ends besides the Fred Meyer. Adios Fred Meyer you lost a customer today.

10. Grateful that I have a great network of friends this weekend. Thank you Melissa for watching the kids while I photograph the wedding tomorrow!!