Friday, January 7, 2011

{11 weeks}

Eleven weeks ago I had MJ, that's 2.75 months (only another quarter to go and she will be 3 months!)

I quit bleeding 5 weeks after having her, (nightMARE), and I was worried about it not stopping but now I am worried that it won't start up again, (which wouldn't be a bad thing, right?), but in the back of my mind I worry that they didn't do what they said they did in the operation room (as in the tubal) and that the lack of a period is a sign that I could be pregnant again.

(taken by Kristine May)

Yeah I know I am a worrier but I can't help but go there. And yes, I know there are these "tests" you can take to see if you are pregnant but I am too scared to take one, but I know if I don't start my period by the end of the month I will have to take one at the beginning of next month.

So here I am praying that "Aunt Flow" visits me, and SOON! Am I crazy to want her to come? (forget that last question, I know I am but again I'm not.)  I keep hoping that each time I run to the potty she will be there and I am disappointed each and every time. I am making myself crazy over it and getting a bit stressed about it.

Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and always wanted a bushelful, I just don't have the stamina to go thru another pregnancy and I worked so hard to get pregnant with MJ that I am kinda burned out by the whole process and I think my body is too.

Nine pregnancies and only four live births would take it's toll on anyone. I am praying that my body just needed a bit more time to recover and is stocking up before "Aunt Flow" shows.

Again, I am just a worrier and writing it all down helps me work thru my fear. I have been praying my dreams are not going to come true, (yes, I have been dreaming about another live birth - I always wake before finding out the sex of the baby - I am hoping it's just a dream about something else I have to work thru - darn subconscious).

Only time will tell and only God knows for sure one way or another.


  1. It is not unusual to bleed that long after the number of babies you have had. I did the same and I had six live and two lost. But remember if the lord wants to send blessings he does. Your cousin Tiffany has 7, the youngest just turned 1. Her and her husband were woke up about three months ago by a little girl calling for her mommy. They checked on the only daughter in the house that talks and she was sound asleep. Tiffany always is extremely ill when she is prenant, but with the holidays she was really tired and her husband made her take a test. Guess what? It is positive. They did all they could to not have another one as Tiff fells like you do. But her last one was sent as a gift and I guess the lord wanted her to be prepared so the little one came to see them firs to let them know she was waiting and also coming so you just have to trust the lord that all is well and your body is just resting after everything. If you nursed it is not unusual to go months with out a visit from your aunt. So be of good cheer and not worry.

  2. If you're still nursing, you probably won't have one until she starts eating solids and are breastfeeding less. I usually don't have mine until they are 6-7 months old. Bryce is 5mo now and I still haven't been visited! But, my friend's sister is breastfeeding AND had her tubes tied...she found out last month that she's pregnant. So, if there's another baby for your'll happen!

  3. If you're nursing, then it's probably just keep Aunt Flow at bay. I always loved that about nursing! I think you're just still in recovery mode. Your body had a rough year!


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