I quit bleeding 5 weeks after having her, (nightMARE), and I was worried about it not stopping but now I am worried that it won't start up again, (which wouldn't be a bad thing, right?), but in the back of my mind I worry that they didn't do what they said they did in the operation room (as in the tubal) and that the lack of a period is a sign that I could be pregnant again.
(taken by Kristine May)
Yeah I know I am a worrier but I can't help but go there. And yes, I know there are these "tests" you can take to see if you are pregnant but I am too scared to take one, but I know if I don't start my period by the end of the month I will have to take one at the beginning of next month.
So here I am praying that "Aunt Flow" visits me, and SOON! Am I crazy to want her to come? (forget that last question, I know I am but again I'm not.) I keep hoping that each time I run to the potty she will be there and I am disappointed each and every time. I am making myself crazy over it and getting a bit stressed about it.
Don't get me wrong, I love my kids and always wanted a bushelful, I just don't have the stamina to go thru another pregnancy and I worked so hard to get pregnant with MJ that I am kinda burned out by the whole process and I think my body is too.
Nine pregnancies and only four live births would take it's toll on anyone. I am praying that my body just needed a bit more time to recover and is stocking up before "Aunt Flow" shows.
Again, I am just a worrier and writing it all down helps me work thru my fear. I have been praying my dreams are not going to come true, (yes, I have been dreaming about another live birth - I always wake before finding out the sex of the baby - I am hoping it's just a dream about something else I have to work thru - darn subconscious).
Only time will tell and only God knows for sure one way or another.