Wednesday, January 14, 2009

{Rants included}

I sent off a letter to my mother-in-law about my feelings about her treatment of William and our family and put the ball into her court. Knowing her, I am sure she will just cut complete contact with us - which I am fine with - but finally I am now at peace with her and her actions and have finally just let it go. When I put that white envelope into the mail slot to be delivered, it was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I know it was the right thing to do, even if she doesn't. William read the letter and said it was good and needed to be sent too.

The dog has not brought in any poo into the house today, so far. I am so happy about that. This is not a behavior he had exhibited until the last 2 weeks. I am hoping it was just a faze and that me throwing him outside and not letting him come inside for an hour while telling him "NO!" and "Bad DOG!" have helped him to understand that it's not ok to bring poo into the house.

I have really been enjoying the kids school the past month or so. The teachers are not feeding the boys tons of sugar and their sleeping habits are getting better & now I actually have to wake them up to get them ready for school! I am seeing great improvement in their behavior and they are listening more while at home. I did talk it over with the kids teachers that they can have ONE cupcake during the week IF it was for a birthday celebration. But only one. This way the kids don't feel like they are being deprived and because we have discussed moderation with them and why it's important they understand and accept it with no complaints.

I have been seeing great progress with their studies and what they have accomplished in the short time we have been here. Aaron is reading by himself and to us now and I even caught him reading to Ruth & Sam the other day during quiet time. Sam has been getting better at writing his name and other words too and is learning his ABC's to where he recognizes more and more letters both in capitals and lowercase. It really has been quite rewarding living here to say the least. Life wise it seems to be good for us, not sure about business wise yet...

I had hoped that we would not have the same problems that we had at the Portland VA...well, I was wrong! Boise VA is just as rude, arrogant and idiotic as the Portland VA. So, not only am I dealing with DFAS, trying to the Social Security ball rolling but now I also have to deal with incompetence at the Boise VA!

Between their transportation department not calling me back, to their incompetent doctors to the attitude both William and I have been getting when anyone talks to us, (like we should be grateful they even bothered to contact us at all and we should be grateful for any type of service). I have just had enough! I am getting close to my breaking point and I know it.

I get annoyed easier and I can see that I am taking out my frustration on those that I love. I am trying hard to just "let it go" but it's getting harder and harder to do. I have been taking more "me time" breaks during the day and I am having a hard time finding the good in the day once we get a call from the idiots at the VA, DFAS or CSRC who are not looking to make our situation any better but only make them worse and putting more stress on me & William.

Really I can't wait until our insurance kicks in so we don't have to deal with any of these people and can just go to REAL doctors to get the things William needs because I am tired of their incompetency and attitude like they are doing good when in reality it's much different.

Do you know that the VA wanted to ignore William's massive brain aneurysm and didn't even prescribe medication for it? It was the MED board people who saw it and had him in surgery within 2 months of seeing him, (really fast for military), because they knew how bad it was. Yet the VA just wanted to shove it under the rug and wait for William to stroke/die before doing anything, (if the aneurysm had burst he would have died - neurologist words).

I am going to try to focus on ways to deal with all this dog-gone stress. Ways that I know how to deal with it that will help me to de-stress so that I don't take out my frustration on my family.

1. I enjoy taking pictures of random things and need to start doing that again - even just 10 min alone with my camera and a leaf can be really soothing and calming to my nerves.

2. I am going to start walking for 30-60 minuets a day, listening to my music playing on my i-pod shuffle. Not only will it help me de-stress (because of the music) but it will help me with my goal of losing weight. I will be killing two birds with one stone so to speak.

3. I love to paint and since the kids do too, I bought some paints last month and so I will pull out the paints with the kids to help my creativity flow and I will be able to spend some quality time with the kids too.

4. I really enjoy reading but haven't done much of it since having the kids. I used to read and read like the dickens. I am going to start reading again, probably about 30-60 before bed time instead of watching mindless nothingness on TV.

5. I am going to start reading my scriptures more (ya know like on a regular basis, probably in the morning before waking the kids). I really need to get back into my routine that I had before having kids.

As Oprah said, I need to put myself back on my to-do list. So as you can see I am going to do that because if I am not taking care of myself how can I accomplish the goals I have for this year?

Do you have anything that you do to de-stress? If so share it with me! I can use all the help de-stressing there is. And as always, thank you for stopping by to listen to me ramble on.


  1. exercise, meditation, study the scriptures, and prayer.

  2. You have a lot going on, just take it a day at a time and stick to your goals. Me? I dance to de-stress or I goof off on the computer...

  3. Two years ago I started a creative faith journal- I embellish and decorate the bible verses which i read in the morning, and during the day, I go back to it! The wonderful thing about it is God is my "collaborator". I find the right picture, or the right word, etc. Quite exciting!


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