{What's up with ME!}

Well, most of you know that there was no heartbeat at my 12 week apt. so they got me into see the ultrasound tech. When I didn't see a heart beat on the monitor I knew something was wrong and especially when she wouldn't tell me anything and sent me off to my own doctor, who told me what I suspected.

After five days I called the doctor and asked if they would just do a D&C since my body wasn't wanting to let go (this was yesterday) and he scheduled me for the D&C today @ 3:30 pm.

My dear friend, Michelle, took me in and waited, to my delight, until I was all done and ready to go (about 6 hours). It was a real blessing and comfort to have her there with me in the room before and after the surgery. I know how busy she is preparing for her daughters baptism and other things in her very busy life. It was such a delight and pleasure and blessing for her to stay with me, because even though I was prepared to do this alone, I really wasn't and having her with me brought me such peace.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!! I am truly grateful to have such a great friend living so near to me.

Thank you to all my dear friends who sent me well wishes and comforting words. They brought peace and comfort to my soul and reminded me who my true friends are. YOU ALL ROCK!!!

So in October, we can start trying again to have another baby. Let's hope that this one takes and wants to stay with me to the end. ((BIG HUGGS)) to everyone!!

Thank you all again...

P.S. I won a give-a-way this week too! I found out on one of my lower days and it sure perked me up like you wouldn't believe. It's so nice to win something sometimes.

{Positive Perspective: Days ७ & ८}

(aka Saturday & Sunday)

1. Played d&d with my Dad, Kitty, Clay & William on Saturday.

2. Watched the first disc of "The 10th Kingdom" w/the kids on Saturday.

3. Finished the last two discs of "The 10th Kingdom" on Sunday w/the kids.

4. Enjoyed watching the kids create their own worlds using the miniatures, dungeon tiles and the terrain William made.

5. I got LOTS of calls reminding me just how wonderful this ward is. Many woman letting me know they were thinking about me and wanted to know if there was anything they could do.

6. I am grateful that we have several fans to circulate the HOT air. I really wish the AC hadn't crapped out on us!

7. Cooked all the frozen meat that got thawed out when the freezer was left open out in the shed.

8. Realized just how blessed I am to have such great friends & family.

9. Got to enjoy my Dad & Kitty when I picked them up for the game and when I drove them home Saturday after the game.

10. Is trying to keep myself busy. Movies help but I have been working on patterns for the ornaments I am going to put in the Christmas baskets I am throwing together.

11. Enjoying my family, loving their antics and relishing in the little joys that make up my life.

{Positive Perspective: Day ६}

(This is for Friday, the 24th)

1. The kittens kept me laughing all day.

2. I got my livingroom rearranged.

3. I got the items I wanted put on craigslist.

4. I got the boys to clean their room. (well Aaron cleaned the room all by himself and earned $20)

5. I cooked 2 whole chickens last night because the freezer thawed everything. So at least I won't have to cook anything for our game on Saturday (aka today)

6. Hubby has really been a sweetheart.

7. Even though the kids drove me nuts, they still found small ways to make me laugh.

{Positive Perspective: Day ५}

(this is for July 23rd aka Wednesday)

1. I am grateful for a kind and caring doctor who informed me in a kind a caring manner about there being no heartbeat. (I already knew, but it was so nice to have someone who was tactful and genuinely concerned about me)

2. I am grateful and deeply moved by the outpouring of love that I have felt from those whom I have known personally and from those who I have never met, except via internet.

3. I have realized just how blessed I am to know Jesus Christ and his Father. It has been a real comfort during this time.

4. I know my family isn't complete and that next time the baby inside me will thrive and I will get to meet him/her.

5. Ruth made me laugh today by giving me odd looks and devilish grins throughout the day.

6. Sam gave me a big hug and told me "everything will be good mommy, 'cause you said the baby is with grandma & grandpa in heaven"

7. Aaron told me it was ok, "as long as we kept trying to get it right!"

8. I love my children! They sure do know what to say to make my heart swell and tears teater over my lower lids.

9. My husband is the best. He just wrapped me in a big hug and told me we would try again. No worries.

10. I played a great game of D&D with Clay & Hubby...It was so much fun!

11. I am grateful my mom taught me to do these "Positive Perspectives" because it sure has been a huge help, especially for today!

{Bump in the Road}

I went in for my ultrasound today because yesterday at my doctors appointment they couldn't hear a heartbeat. Well, there was no heartbeat. Baby stopped growing at 11 weeks.

My body is holding on (what they call a missed miscarriage), we are going to give it a week for my body to do what it should and if it doesn't I will need medical intervention (aka D&C).

We are going to try again, this is just a bump in the road. My doctor took lots of blood to run a few tests since this is my 3rd miscarriage to make sure I am not creating antibodies (a couple different kinds) One of them being because I am (O-). He did tell me that when I do get pregnant again that I will need to take hormones, like what woman w/invitro take.

I am hoping my body does what it should and there isn't too much bleeding - but if medical intervention is needed I will at least know what to expect since I have had one before with my first miscarriage.

{Positive Perspective: Day ४}

(this is for Wed. July 22nd)

1. I had my doctors appointment and I didn't sleep thru it!

2. Because the doctor couldn't find the heartbeat I get to have an ultrasound (today the 23rd).

3. Ruth kept making funny faces at me while blocking the moving fan. It was quite entertaining.

4. I actually got my visit teaching done because I have a super AWESOME companion!!

5. The women we visit are just AWESOME!

6. After a nice nap my migraine turned into just a bothersome headache.

7. Aaron showed me the comic he has been working on - it's sooo neat, it's about him, Sam & Ruth only they are super hero's, well, Ruth is the "boss lady". But it's still cool.

8. Because I can never seem to get to bed before 3am -the kittens always put on a show for me late at night. It's quite entertaining.

9. I'm not worried about the ultrasound showing anything wrong. I feel content.

{Positive Perspective: Day ३}

(This is for Tuesday the 21st)

1. I walked 1/2 mile on the treadmill.

2. I found my grandma's salad shooter w/grater attachment - which made grating zucchini way more easier!!

3. Ruth helped me make the zucchini bread & muffins.

4. Ruth didn't pitch a fit when I left for Enrichment - because I told her I would take her to my doctors appointment on Wednesday (aka today the 22nd).

5. I got all William's miniatures that he painted varnished. He's done 22 in 4 days!!

6. I stayed a whole hour during enrichment - they were doing chocolate everything and I didn't start getting ill until it started getting hot in my section as the chocolate melted and the scent wafted back to me. I was very pleased.

7. I am looking forward to visiting teaching with my new companion! It's going to be fun. I just know it!!

8. William fixed the TV the boys like to watch their movies on!! Don't know how he did it but I am soooo glad! Now I don't have to watch the cartoons during their TV time.

{Zucchini Bread and Muffins}

I made some zucchini bread & Muffins today and yesterday and wanted to share the recipe with you. I got it from April. I modified the recipe by adding a 1/4 cup more sugar but it tastes good without the extra sugar too (at least to me, hubby differed with me).

Enjoy!

Zucchini Bread
(this is a double batch, makes 4 loafs)
Oven Temp: 350 degrees, Time to bake: 30-40 min (make sure a toothpick comes out clean)

Ingredients:

4 cups shredded zucchini

1 cup vegetable oil (I used olive oil)

4 eggs

4 tsp vanilla

3 cups All-purpose flour

2 1/2 cups Sugar (tastes good with just 2 cups in my opinion)

1 1/2 tsp baking soda

1 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp baking powder

1 cup chopped nuts (optional, I never added)

Directions: Mix the Zucchini, Oil, Eggs & Vanilla in a large bowl. In a separate bowl combine the Flour, Sugar, baking soda, cinnamon, baking powder & nuts - Mix the dry ingredients with a whisk to combine the dry ingredients. After combined add to the wet mixture.

I used a spray olive oil to spray the pans then I separate the mixture into 4 loaf pans or 3 loaf pans & 24 mini muffins. Put in a 350 degree oven for 30-40 minuets - make sure a knife or toothpick comes out clean. (when I start to smell the yummy goodness, I check with a knife/toothpick in the center)

{Positive Perspective: Day २}

This is for Monday, July 20th

Positive Perspective: Day Two

1. I got to sleep in for a bit.

2. Ruth didn't whine as much as she normally does.

3. I made 4 loafs of zucchini bread.

4. Even though I had to go to the store 3 times I finally got everything by the last trip.

5. William and I had some alone time - which doesn't happen often with the kids screaming all day long. It was nice we just talked.

6. I walked a 1/2 mile on the treadmill.

7. I learned another way to get home from Caldwell. Clay showed me on our way back from getting the stuff needed for the water softner machine.

8. I made some killer pork chops w/carrots & for the kids they also got yogurt.

9. Even though the kids didn't eat dinner w/the exception of the yogurt - I didn't get upset.

10. When the kittens came out of hiding after the kids went to bed, they curled up on me and purred away like little motor boats. It was so nice!

{Positive Perspective: Day One}

I have noticed that on my facebook and even here I have started to become a bit more negative, sooooo I am going to start doing "Positive Perspective" again.

These are for the day before (Sunday the 19th):

Positive Perspective: Day One

1. We had a nice visit and dinner at The Hardy's Home.

2. The food was sooo yummy and I didn't get nauseas.

3. The kids were fairly good while we were at someone else's home.

4. I had a nice visit with Christie at church.

5. I have a great visit teaching companion who will push me to be a better visit teacher.

6. Brother Ha-knot-sue (not sure how he spells his name, but that is how it sounds) brought over some huge zucchini. I am going to make zucchini bread & muffins with them.

7. I got to see my Dad and his wife Kitty yesterday evening and pick up some farm fresh eggs.

I will try to be doing this every day this week to help remind me life isn't bad, it's good - even with all the bumps in the road.

{Owl}

I created an owl stuffie for Ruth. It's made from neon colored felt and button eyes and I used the blanket stitch...this was my first, I learned alot from this little project.

{Week 11}

Your baby, just over 1 1/2 inches long and about the size of a fig, is now almost fully formed. Her hands will soon open and close into fists, tiny tooth buds are beginning to appear under her gums, and some of her bones are beginning to harden.

She's already busy kicking and stretching, and her tiny movements are so effortless they look like water ballet. These movements will become more frequent as her body grows and becomes more developed and functional. You won't feel your baby's acrobatics for another month or two — nor will you notice the hiccupping that may be happening now that her diaphragm is forming.

I find that last paragraph funny because I have felt the movements and flutters in my tummy, but they do say if you have had babies before you know what feels like what. I am still having bouts of nausea but mostly whenever I go out to the stores, smell chocolate (I know this sucks!), beans, certain types of cereal, eggs, juice and many other foods/beverages.

When I was pregnant with Ruth I was nauseas thru out. With the boys I was only sick during the 3rd month. With this pregnancy I am nauseas off and on, on and off...wonder what that means? Is it a boy, girl or twins?

I am searching for pregnancy jeans that have just a belly panel in the front, I hate the jeans I bought that have a belly band all around...who ever thought that was a good idea was an idiot because it just doesn't work for me. I did notice ebay had some - guess I will be buying from there. who knew maternity clothes would change soooo much since having Aaron, but then again I guess it has been 8 years since I had him.

{Bye, Bye & New Additions}

While we were on vacation, Patten, our loving dog decided to chase down our neighbors laying hens and kill one of them. I am not sure if he did it on purpose but because we want to have chickens in the future and don't want to have to pen him in, we decided to find him a new forever home that didn't involve livestock or other small animals. It took two tries but we did find him a nice home with a sweet couple. I am sure he is going to be super happy there.

Ruth was quite upset, to say the least. William and I decided since we had told her when Patten died we would get a kitty we decided we would search out a kitten, even though Patten wasn't dead.

Ruth was quite happy with that idea and helped me search craigslist for kittens. We found a sweet listing and Ruth asked William if she could get two, one for her and one for him. He caved and I must say I am glad. So now instead of one rambunctious dog we now have two cantankerous kittens.































They were born the day before mother's day and are brother and sister. The orange one is Tobias (Toby for short) and he is just full of piss and vinager. Ruth picked him out for William. The grey stripped one is "Ruth's" and she named her Sorry. Yep, Sorry, and she is just the sweetest little thing, but with a wild streak of her own.

I was afraid they were not litter box trained like the ad said, but they are and haven't had an accident anywhere except in the litter box! Aaron cleans it every morning because I explained I couldn't due to being pregnant. I told him I would give him a dollar a week if he did it for me. He sure has been diligent.

So yes, we lost a dog, but he's found a new and wonderful home and we gained a couple of feisty kittens that keep us laughing with their antics.

{July Vacation}

We had a great visit with William's dad up in Northern Idaho...it was sooo green and even thought it did get up into the 90's it really didn't feel like 90 degrees! We had such a great time and hope to do it again really soon. It was so beautiful, peaceful and just plain lovely.

All the kids helped Grandpa mow the lawn, move rocks and just have a great time!



















































































Grandpa took the kids for a spin around the yard, the whole time the kids were yelling "faster, faster Grandpa". The kids & Grandpa had the best time.



































The kids, with the help of their dad, got to shoot their first gun. I even got to shoot it too. There was virtually no kick back. The kids liked it so much, William told them that he would make sure they took a gun safety course and then they could go hunting sometime. They were so excited about that.



















































A doe came up just feet from the livingroom windows. The kids were just so fascinated. It really was a calming and relaxing trip. It was so nice to get to spend time with Curt & Jane and just enjoy the calm of his place. We can't wait to do it again!